In which she analogises
May. 12th, 2009 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zeborah(Please read this in a friendly, patient, non-accusatory tone, even when I go for the hyperbole. Because I totally get where people are coming from; I just want to explain where other people are coming from.)
(Warning: the following analogy is not perfect. If it was it wouldn't be an analogy, it'd be a description. Also, the point of an analogy is to ponder similarities, not to argue about differences, because if the differences were the important part then I'd have chosen an analogy where the differences were similarities instead. If that makes sense.)
So say you're on your cellphone chatting to someone else on her cellphone, and suddenly she exclaims,
"Shit! God, that was a close one -- bloody incompetent idiots -- dammit, I thought I was safe in here! Why do people keep putting anvils up on thin shelves that break and drop the things on my shoulder? The bone's barely healed from last time! Fuck, I'm sick of these bloody anvils!"
Do you:
a) Get angry at her for saying rude words?
b) Tell her she doesn't know that *this particular* anvil would hurt her shoulder unless she lets it fall onto her shoulder so she should let it drop onto her shoulder in order to get the experience necessarily to justly criticise it?
c) Point out that the function of an anvil is to be heavy, not to guard her against injury?
d) Reassure her that you've just donated money to a charity that specialises in healing shoulder injuries?
e) Argue that there's nothing wrong with putting anvils on shelves, because strong shelves can support an anvil perfectly well and it's a perfectly interesting idea to store anvils on shelves?
f) Get angry that she's accusing people of trying to assassinate her?
g) Express your fascination with her description of this anvil/shelf arrangement and thank her for bringing it to your attention so that you can investigate it yourself?
h) Tell her to stop being silly, it's just a lump of iron?
i) Ask her what *she's* done to prevent this sort of thing happening?
j) Wonder why she's wasting her time complaining to you about it when she could be doing something more constructive?
k) Remind her proudly that you once pushed a book back from the edge of a shelf so no-one would get hurt?
l) Angst over the fact that people complain if you leave an anvil in the middle of the floor where they can trip over it, and now people complain if you put it on a weak shelf that lets it fall onto them, and you just can't win?
m) Hang up noisily because you're tired of hearing her whining?
n) Demand that she create for you a set of standards and a design blueprint for a shelf that will be able to bear the weight of any possible anvil, no matter how large?
o) Start telling her about how this one time a sparrow crapped on your shoulder?
p) Try to get back to that nice conversation you were having before?
q) Tell her that her injured shoulder is all in the past?
[and so forth]
Or... Might you say, "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry that keeps happening to you. Are you okay?" and listen to her if she feels like talking about it, and try to figure out how you can help persuade people to be careful where they store their anvils?
Btw, "I'm so sorry that keeps happening to you" doesn't mean "I'm sorry for doing it to you" -- in the same way that "I'm so sorry about your mother's death" doesn't mean "I'm sorry for killing your mother." So you can say it even if your conscience is entirely clear with regards to health and safety.
OTOH, if you've thoughtlessly said something from a. through q. and if you now regret it, you might want to say, "Er, whoops, sorry about that. Are you okay?"
OTGH, if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it. It's just an analogy, and it's not perfect.
[On comments: Eh, you're all great but I just don't have time this time to keep up. Sorry. You all know my email address if you need to get hold of me, right?]
(Warning: the following analogy is not perfect. If it was it wouldn't be an analogy, it'd be a description. Also, the point of an analogy is to ponder similarities, not to argue about differences, because if the differences were the important part then I'd have chosen an analogy where the differences were similarities instead. If that makes sense.)
So say you're on your cellphone chatting to someone else on her cellphone, and suddenly she exclaims,
"Shit! God, that was a close one -- bloody incompetent idiots -- dammit, I thought I was safe in here! Why do people keep putting anvils up on thin shelves that break and drop the things on my shoulder? The bone's barely healed from last time! Fuck, I'm sick of these bloody anvils!"
Do you:
a) Get angry at her for saying rude words?
b) Tell her she doesn't know that *this particular* anvil would hurt her shoulder unless she lets it fall onto her shoulder so she should let it drop onto her shoulder in order to get the experience necessarily to justly criticise it?
c) Point out that the function of an anvil is to be heavy, not to guard her against injury?
d) Reassure her that you've just donated money to a charity that specialises in healing shoulder injuries?
e) Argue that there's nothing wrong with putting anvils on shelves, because strong shelves can support an anvil perfectly well and it's a perfectly interesting idea to store anvils on shelves?
f) Get angry that she's accusing people of trying to assassinate her?
g) Express your fascination with her description of this anvil/shelf arrangement and thank her for bringing it to your attention so that you can investigate it yourself?
h) Tell her to stop being silly, it's just a lump of iron?
i) Ask her what *she's* done to prevent this sort of thing happening?
j) Wonder why she's wasting her time complaining to you about it when she could be doing something more constructive?
k) Remind her proudly that you once pushed a book back from the edge of a shelf so no-one would get hurt?
l) Angst over the fact that people complain if you leave an anvil in the middle of the floor where they can trip over it, and now people complain if you put it on a weak shelf that lets it fall onto them, and you just can't win?
m) Hang up noisily because you're tired of hearing her whining?
n) Demand that she create for you a set of standards and a design blueprint for a shelf that will be able to bear the weight of any possible anvil, no matter how large?
o) Start telling her about how this one time a sparrow crapped on your shoulder?
p) Try to get back to that nice conversation you were having before?
q) Tell her that her injured shoulder is all in the past?
[and so forth]
Or... Might you say, "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry that keeps happening to you. Are you okay?" and listen to her if she feels like talking about it, and try to figure out how you can help persuade people to be careful where they store their anvils?
Btw, "I'm so sorry that keeps happening to you" doesn't mean "I'm sorry for doing it to you" -- in the same way that "I'm so sorry about your mother's death" doesn't mean "I'm sorry for killing your mother." So you can say it even if your conscience is entirely clear with regards to health and safety.
OTOH, if you've thoughtlessly said something from a. through q. and if you now regret it, you might want to say, "Er, whoops, sorry about that. Are you okay?"
OTGH, if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it. It's just an analogy, and it's not perfect.
[On comments: Eh, you're all great but I just don't have time this time to keep up. Sorry. You all know my email address if you need to get hold of me, right?]
