Entry tags:

cat, food, garden

One of the advantages of plums is that their stones make new plum trees!

(This is also one of the disadvantages of plums and, in fact, of the roots of existing plum trees. Much like convolvulus, plum trees are megalomaniacal would-be conquerors of the world. They're just more patient about it, and better adapted to the task of convincing humans that nah, those aren't weeds, they're plum trees, no need to worry about those.)

A second advantage is that my colleague's parrot likes prying opening the stones to eat the seeds. The parrot apparently also likes prying opening apricot stones to eat those seeds, which makes me worried about cyanide. But if I give her plums, she won't need apricots, so I won't have to worry about this no-doubt illusory danger.

A third advantage is that I can go out to pick plums as cover for spying on the neighbours who've turned up their music so that in my living room I have trouble clearly hearing my music. Just like last Saturday, I find no signs of a party, and the music is coming from their garage. What I first took for the sound of cheap fireworks turned out to be two young men tearing branches off their silver birch.

A fourth advantage of plums is that they taste awesome.

As I type this, Boots begs to inform me of a fifth advantage of plums! It appears that plums can be knocked off the table with a very satisfactory plunk and can then be batted around the room somewhat like a rotund and purple mouse.

Truly no other fruit can have so many advantages. If only they had purple mousey tails, they'd be perfect!