| zeborah ( |
Post-rewrite, other bonuses of the accessory fix include:
a) the conversation and internal monologue is more meaningful;
b) the motivation is smoother;
c) the sex scene is sexier;
d) the discovery of the chapter's plot token involves a certain Ambitious Spear-carrier more closely;
e) the Spider manages to handle said plot token with greater subtlety;
f) I got to delete a short (<1page) scene because it was no longer necessary and won't have to write another short scene because that's no longer necessary either, which saves me words for more important stuff.
On the minus side:
a) I had to remove a reference to Potiphar's wife. Well, I didn't have to, but it wasn't so firmly integrated any more;
b) pursuant to f) above, I won't actually bother with the added bonus symbolism I mentioned in my original post.
All by changing a necklace to a ring. <blinks happily>
a) the conversation and internal monologue is more meaningful;
b) the motivation is smoother;
c) the sex scene is sexier;
d) the discovery of the chapter's plot token involves a certain Ambitious Spear-carrier more closely;
e) the Spider manages to handle said plot token with greater subtlety;
f) I got to delete a short (<1page) scene because it was no longer necessary and won't have to write another short scene because that's no longer necessary either, which saves me words for more important stuff.
On the minus side:
a) I had to remove a reference to Potiphar's wife. Well, I didn't have to, but it wasn't so firmly integrated any more;
b) pursuant to f) above, I won't actually bother with the added bonus symbolism I mentioned in my original post.
All by changing a necklace to a ring. <blinks happily>
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